to you, berry.

I wanna write you something but I don't know where to start. There are things I wanna tell, and there are things I wanna know. Let me just start anywhere, go anywhere, and stop anywhere.

I appreciate you talking to me when I feel awkward at first. Otherwise, I wouldn't have opened up so much to you if not for your conversation. I'm not those type that simply clicks with people but you managed to get to me. And that, I have to say thank you. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a great time here.

The past three months have been very very nice to me. I enjoy coming to work everyday just to catch up with you. Things were nice when you were attentive to me. I liked your attention alot. I liked it when you asked me stuff. I liked it when you asked for my help. I liked it when you want me to correct your English. I really do. You don't have to thank me for all the favours, coz the pleasure is really mine. I would try my best to do anything, as long as I have you attention.

The things with going over to your place whenever 70's or sin come, I wouldn't have mind at all. It would mean that somehow or other, I am your comfort zone at work. And I enjoyed being it. The jokes we shared, the funny mistakes you've made! haha and I still remember you slipping on your high heels, installing a program without unzipping it, choking on water, and all those funny stuff you did!

When you shared your thoughts bout your roomie with me, I was so concerned that it would really hurt you bad. But when you said you've moved on with it, I realized how big a heart you have. And how shallow I am compared to you. I'm glad things are fine between you and your roomie. I never thought after what she said, you'd still forgive her. I'm glad things turned out this way. Well, that was the only thing you've shared with me, I think. It's hard to get you tell things to me. You either tell it half way, or never wanna tell at all. Even though I am curious, I wouldn't press you too much on it, coz I don't want you to get irritated and frustrated and stuff like that. One of the things that I'm still curious at is, the sudden apology that you made. For no reason at all, you said sorry. I do wanna know the reason, and hope you'll tell me soon enough.

Looking at your pictures, it makes me feel like i'm there as well. It cheers me up. It makes me smile. But, sometimes, I can get a lil bit sad, coz I know very well that you are enjoying every bit of it, while I am on the other side of the world sulking at my own life. (sulking - feeling of displeasure, complaining) hahah I shouldn't use words that you seldom use. But I don't know what other words to use. Coming back to my point, you are the cheery cherry, pretty berry, which makes me smile even though you've never realized it. Going out with you, seeing you so cheerful, lightens me up alot. I've really enjoyed everytime we had the chance to go out together. Otherwise, I wouldn't know what cheerfulness meant. And not forgetting dining at my place, those tomyam dinner, spaghetti dinner, and the soup noodles that I cooked just for you. I enjoyed every moment of it.

So come to the part when you are sad. I don't wanna bring up your sad stuff again, but I feel so helpless when you feel sad. I can never give you that comforting hug when you are sad. I can never wipe your tears off whenever you cry. All I can do is, just sit here, and look from afar, and being disappointed at myself for being so helpless. When you had that problem with your roomie, all I could do was listen. I don't think I have been much of a help. When you had that problem about "that-attractive-girl-that-everyone-liked", I couldn't do much. I hated those who were irrational, those who keep pointing fingers at the wrong people just to side her. But what can I do to change the situation? I couldn't comfort or console you, I couldn't make people understand that the fault was not your's. All I did was just look at you cry, and passing tissue paper to you :( how more useless can I be? Oh and I remember there were times when you were in "pain". All I could do was, to look at you from here. I feel so helpless that I couldn't do more. I wanna do more, but I am not sure if that's what you wanted.

After this week, I am sure we'll drift further apart. I am positively sure you'll forget me soon enough. But the thing is, I am not sure why. After that weird apology, I feel... that I'm being brushed aside. I feel that you are slowly ignoring me. For what reason, I have no idea at all. And I feel that your apology, your sorry, was for the decision to do this to me. I am not asking for anything more. I am lost myself. I know what I want in life. But it seem so hard to reach. I know things that I wanna achieve, and I am trying very hard to achieve it. But it seem impossible to get. My dreams, my ambitions, my hopes, I've lost all of them, in just a few days.

There is nothing more for me to say after this. I have no idea what else to do, what else to say. It will be a while before I start to pick myself up again. It would take maybe days? maybe months? I have no plans for now. I have lost the will to carry on. I am trying to get used to your cold shoulder. And I hope, I really do hope, whatever you do in the future, you'll be happy with your life. After this week, I am no longer your comfort zone in office. I hope things will be better for me. I don't wanna live this way. And I sincerely hope that you will always be the cheery berry. Take care.

To Be With You

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I've seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Why be alone when we can be together baby
You can make my life worthwhile
And I can make you start to smile

When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
Come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

just to be the next to be with

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

just to be the next to be with you